I have spent this evening going through my clothes. How, when I sent five bin bags to the jumble last summer, I can have just filled four in this one night, only one year on, I don’t know. I still feel like I have too many clothes. But then there are some things for which there are good reasons for keeping.
There’s one dress in there that in some ways I suspect I’ll never wear again. I still love it and it still fits, but I’m not sure it’s quite my style any more. But I’m keeping it, and it’s the one thing I’m keeping simply because it’s meaningful. Everything else is in there because I think it will (occasionally at least) get worn. But I’m not sure this dress will.
This is a dress I bought just under two years ago. I was shopping with a friend in Sheffield during the August resit period, for dresses I could wear to my first ever Towersey, and I ummed and ahhed over this particular dress, because it was short and tight and cut quite low, and was quite unlike anything else I was wearing at that point. And I think it was that dress that really marked a turning point, actually, in the end. It made me feel amazing. Everything else I owned at the time I liked because as an item of clothing it was interesting. I wanted to be no more than a hanger or mannequin for my clothes, because I didn’t quite have the confidence for my clothes to be a support for me and not the other way round. And this dress was quite the opposite. It’s lovely in and of itself, but more than that, for the first time, it made me feel gorgeous, sexy, worth looking at.
So, if nothing else, I’m keeping it because it’s a memento. It marks a moment in time which might otherwise go unmarked. The point where I finally started to love myself, by myself, for myself. These days of course I dress quite differently. It’s all jeans, minimalism, and nautical stripes (and a distinctly Rah red gilet…). But I’ve still got that dress, just in case I ever need reminding again that I am, and always will be, more interesting than the clothes I wear.
I don’t like doing posts just to apologise for being away or announce an upcoming hiatus or whatever. In some ways it seems slightly arrogant to assume that others would like to be given excuses for your non-presence, or warned to brace themselves for an inevitable future parting.
Equally, sometimes I’ve got nice emails, messages and comments asking me where I am and why I haven’t posted recently.
My last exam is tomorrow. I am then going away for a week, then starting full-time work. I don’t think I’ll even have my laptop for most of this time, one way or the other. So it’ll probably be at least a week until my next post, if not significantly more.
Having said that, I bet I think of something I want to write about tomorrow afternoon, when I should be packing or something. That’s the other thing about ‘I’m going on a break’ posts. It’s like begging Murphy’s Law to give you inspiration by accident. It’s completely not intentional.
Anyway, the sun is shining, the garden is looking beautiful, my exams are nearly over, one of my best friends is coming to lunch, my sister is here, and it’s all reasonably wonderful, as far as revision season can be. I hope you’re all well :).
You all know I love a good advert. I really hate the bad ones. But this is actually brilliant. It’s a bit like the Lurpak ones in that it’s beautifully and craftily shot, and you catch it on telly and think, gosh, what is that for, and it takes a second viewing to make you realise what the ad has to do with the product. But in a good way, not in a stupidly stupid obscure way. Enjoy.
I’ve added some shots from my Edinburgh trip to the Gallery. Please go and look at them, I know it’s a whole other link you have to go and click on and blah, but I like them, and I hope you do too, and if you do, please say nice things, because I have a headache and too much work to do and it would cheer me up.
You should also watch Campus, it’s a show, find it on 4oD. Set in a struggling university somewhere in the Midlands (I’d guess) it’s similar sort of comedy to Green Wing – pretty surreal, occasionally rather rude, and occasionally, suddenly, and fleetingly poignant. Ideal.
Anyway, I need to do several things, one of which is clean the bathroom floor, so on that note I will leave you.