Template

This is a blog entry in which I start off with a general proposition about life. If I’m feeling particularly clever, it might even be a metaphor of some kind, which if I’m careful I can then expand over the course of a paragraph. During the course of this paragraph, metaphorical or not, we will gradually focus in on slightly less general issues.

In the following paragraph I then name what it is that is really bothering me, or rather, I write a sentence which is such a massive hint that there’s no point in it being a hint really, it’s pretty blatant, and the only reason that it is written as a hint, with any degree of discretion and subtlety, is in order to maintain my own dignity in some small way, because I hate being all, Oh, Hello Internet, I’m Complaining Again, Make It All Better OK? Yes.

I then go on to attempt to count my blessings, or apologise for what I have just written possibly. I might do neither of those things, feeling that I ought to feel no need to excuse or explain what I have just said.

I then conclude with some kind of profound or witty – in any case, brilliant – statement, which more or less sums up everything I have just written, and I get up and put the kettle on and make a cup of tea, and turn up the volume on my music and possibly knit another row of knitting before I plough on with whatever I should really be doing.

Right now the brilliantly metaphorical opening statement would probably be something to do with counting blessings, comparing them to apples in a barrel, and you know how one apple always goes bad, and, well, bad apples…

Reassuring concluding statement: 99% of the time I am happy and have nothing to complain about. It’s probably just because I haven’t had a cup of tea in the last, ooh, five minutes.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Template

  1. Why change a successful formula?

  2. Jenny

    Flix, it wasn’t a reference to that exactly but to something else fairly similar I once saw a long time ago somewhere else on the web. If I’d seen your example I would have probably made a better job of this entry!

  3. teacherface

    πŸ˜€

  4. teacherface

    yes πŸ˜€

  5. Interesting. I saw a video of a news report that was done in template form, can’t remember where, basically it was bang on BBC reporting.

  6. @Antony that was Charlie Brooker, I think.

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