Living Under A Rock

For reasons best known to herself my sister decided to switch the telly over from a perfectly good episode of Top Gear to some music channel or other yesterday. And it was just all this awful whiny R’n’B and Lady Gaga prancing about and I exclaimed, ‘wait, what, is that Beyonce with her?’ and my sister looked at me as if I was really dim and explained that actually they’ve apparently been working together quite a lot recently. Personally I was quite pleased that I recognised them both at all. I haven’t been following the charts at all, not since my first year when I found myself doing things like straightening my hair and drinking VK Apple; looking back it’s all like some slightly trippy dream. So yeah. I really don’t know how to get down with the kids these days.

My housemates tease me for having basically missed out on the nineties and also some fairly major elements of modern culture. So here I will lay myself bare to all of your collective derision and admit that I don’t really know who or what the Fresh Prince of Bel Air is; I have watched two episodes of Blackadder in my entire life; I have never watched the vast majority of so called ‘classic’ kids telly (seriously, quiz me on that one, I don’t even know enough to know what names I don’t know); I have never had a meal from MacDonalds (occasionally the chips when starving and having run out of other options) or for that matter from any other fast food joint; I didn’t even know what Nando’s was until a couple of years ago; if you ask me who I had a crush on from Five I would until J enlightened me have probably asked ‘five what?’, ditto any other boyband of the nineties; I don’t know the songs, let alone the dance moves, by S Club, Billie Whatserface-who-was-in-Doctor-Who, Steps, or whoever else; I haven’t watched most of the classic high school movies I should probably know by heart; and I get ribbed for listening to Radio 4 (‘can’t you listen to something more normal? Have you ever tried Radio 1?’ Yes. It annoys me lots).

To be honest this is where I run out of things I know I don’t know. It is now up to you to ask me things about nineties and early noughties popular culture and discover the great, gaping, glaring holes in my knowledge. I don’t know how I completely missed out on a decade. I didn’t know what Crystal Maze was until recently. But then, in my house, we always had to ask to watch telly, and I continued to ask if I could right up until I was about fifteen, so before that it was educational stuff or whatever my parents wanted to watch, in the main.

Anyway, it’s weird. I’m aware there’s a hell of a lot that has entirely passed me by and I really can’t quite account for it. To be honest, with the probable exception of some seriously classic comedy, I’m not sure I really mind that much…!



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5 responses to “Living Under A Rock

  1. Much of this is to be applauded. Except this:

    “I have watched two episodes of Blackadder in my entire life”

    Whaaaa?! How is that even possible?! Blackadder is great and I compel you to go buy the DVD box set and watch them all now :-p

    Except the first series. That’s pretty meh.

    I hope you’ve at least seen some Monty Python

  2. I also live under a rock, one which seems particularly impervious to films. I don’t really care, to be honest, although occasionally I do take a brave peek outside if somebody suggests I’m actually missing something good.

    I’m not sure that I’d recognise Lady Gaga at all. Beyonce, maybe…

  3. In my defence, the only reason I know Beyonce and Gaga have done I think at least two songs together now is because I was disgusted with the video for ‘videophone’ which I saw in a pub somewhere and someone pointed out to me who they were. I vaguely recognised them. I didn’t even know Gaga did ‘Just Dance’, so I’m almost as bad as you.

    I was mainly switching over to the Music Channel because I remember a couple of afternoons like the one we had t’other day where we basically spent the whole time alternately laughing at or ranting about what was on. This is how I’m entertained. (d’you remember that afternoon where Lily Allen’s ‘Not Fair’ came on? The hilarity and feminist discussion that followed was NICE)


    *I’m probably a bit odd.

  4. Adam

    I second Dickie’s remarks re: Blackadder and Python. But since you’re a fan of Top Gear we can let the Blackadder slide… For now…

    The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is excellent in an Oh-my-goodness-weren’t-the-nineties-tragic kind of way… The Crystal Maze is brilliant, if not just for Richard O’Brien getting annoyed with some of the less intelligent people, and resorting to his harmonica in rage and/or disgust…

    As for modern music… Until recently I never listened to radio at all – now we have one at work and I hear things and think “That’s great” or more likely “That’s rubbish” – but it’s let me find new things I wouldn’t have found otherwise… Like Owl City and Ellie Goulding…

  5. Jenny

    I’ve watched all of The LIfe Of Brian and a bit of The Holy Grail and have a few random audio clips of some Python stuff, but I haven’t seen much, no. *would* like to see more though.

    I don’t think I’m missing out much on ‘modern’ music. As I get older my tastes only get more eccentric, and that’s fine by me – mainstream music at the moment seems to be hideously shallow, really.

    It just seems odd that while for some people Pop Tarts is a trip down memory lane, for me it’s, well, just funny, and very surreal.

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