So I won’t be around for a few days because I will be elsewhere – specifically, as some of you will know, at the Inter Varsity Folk Dance Festival, in Durham, for two days of concerts and ceilidhs and workshops and things, as well as (hopefully) getting the chance to catch up with a lot of people that I know in Durham and (probably) sampling a reasonable quantity of real ale. I’m even going to take my violin. Whether I have the balls to get it out we have yet to see.
Meanwhile a friend just came round for the evening. We improvised (as ever) a very nice tomatoey pasta-y potatoey thing (honestly it worked a lot better than you’d expect) and watched the last episode of Being Human (a little confusing since I’ve only seen the first two episodes of this series) and then spent hours talking. However unhappy this friend may be at the moment it was good, I think for both of us, to realise that it’s OK to feel like this. We’re not alone, it’s not surprising, university is a huge big learning curve for us as human beings, teaching us what we really want from life, and that doesn’t necessarily coincide hugely with the degrees we’re doing, or mean that those degrees themselves will eventually be that much use to us as people in the world. We both can’t wait to leave, in many ways, it’s just a means to an end, but it’s good to feel that it’s OK to feel like this.
And meanwhile here you get the chance to do so many other things. When else will I get the time to go to two different home groups (or what we call “cells”), Bible study, choir, orchestra, life drawing, another choir, church, Photo Soc, yoga, bouldering, swimming, volunteer at Oxfam, and still find the time to keep up with Lark Rise to Candleford? Or, for that matter, contemplate taking up some other hobbies (H and I are seriously considering having a one-off horse-riding lesson at the stables down the road)? The world is given to you on a plate, but no-one should be given the whole world on a plate all at once, not when I want a flat of my own and a job and more of a schedule instead, and, well, different things. This degree – it is just the next part of the conveyor belt. You only realise when you get to GCSEs that you aren’t doing them for themselves but to go on to do A-levels, which, well, ditto, and you then think you’re going to university to learn for the sake of learning but no, it is just another bit of the conveyor belt, and then you’ll start looking for jobs but you’re just a lab monkey and if you accept that you’re happy just to keep on going and that in some ways you make these choices yourself and it is all stuff you want but that doesn’t mean you aren’t constantly using this stage as a means to and end, and if you can accept that, then you will be alright, perhaps. So we say.
Anyway, Durham tomorrow. Friends, dancing, music… I spent half the evening whittling down my dress selection and the rest of the evening gawping at shoes. I am officially excited.