Forget The Men, Pick A Guy

I’VE never liked men. I like guys.

Guys are often in between things like jobs and houses, which means they’re more likely to stay up with you all night, drinking wine and playing gin rummy. They’ll rub your belly. They’ll lick chocolate off it. They’ll like your cute little dog. A guy is never going to shoot Old Yeller in the woods.

Then again, guys don’t remember to tell you the doctor’s office called. They don’t check your tires before your big trip. They don’t say, “Call me when you get there.” They say, “Love you, have fun,” because they can’t imagine anything bad happening to you. Which is good, and somehow bad. Guys don’t tell you what to do. This also is both good and, oddly, bad.

Read the rest of this article, from the New York Times, here.

Personally, I like men. I like someone who asks me to call when I get there, who will call me if I don’t remember, just in case. I like a man who won’t wallow in confusion, who knows what he wants, and who is reliable. Who is responsible, who knows about wine, who budgets and keeps savings accounts and things. But then the author’s definition of ‘man’ seems to include ‘takes revenge’ and ‘doesn’t talk about things’, and I don’t know that that’s all part of the package, either. My dad is a man, not a guy. Our next door neighbour is a guy, and he has a wife and child – it isn’t an age thing.

Anyway, I quite liked the article – thank you Martin for sending it to me – it amused me and whiled away some time I should have probably spent revising. I think there’s another category, though, for those who are neither, yet, are too young and confused and unsure of themselves to be ‘men’, but will be, one day, and should be. After all, we’re only twenty. I have a cousin my age whose last two relationships have been with men older than she is, because she’s got fed up of waiting for males our age to get it together – and I have to say by the sounds of it I think she’s on to something, she certainly seems very happy at the moment. Me, well, I’m just going to have to wait, I guess…!



Filed under Friendship, Internet, Introspection, Life, Relationships, Society, Thoughts, World

7 responses to “Forget The Men, Pick A Guy

  1. Sorry, the article’s a load of bollocks. People are just themselves, and I’m fairly sure most men will have a blend of traits which fit into the “guy” and “man” columns; reading that article I’m certain that I do.

    I hate it when people try to attach labels to other people. It’s so futile 😎

  2. Jenny

    Well, of course – and this is what a lot of journalism aimed, supposedly, at women, is like. Of course I don’t believe that all men *really* can be divided into ‘men’ and ‘guys’ – nor would I want them to be. I want someone who can be sensitive and spontaneous (‘guy’ traits) as well as caring, chivalrous and organised (‘men’), thank you. But it was a bit of fun and it was vaguely thought-provoking and it kept me entertained…!

  3. Y’know, I don’t even like articulating what it is I want in someone, because I personally have no idea what it is. I know it when I see it, but otherwise, I ain’t drawing up no checklists.

    Does annoy me when women say they want older guys, though. Give me a fucking break. I did actually get turned down by someone because she was a couple of years older than me. Fuck’s sake!

  4. I don’t think you’re taking this seriously, you know. I for one only date Capricorns now. And they *have* to have their own car.

  5. Jenny

    To be honest my definitive must-have characteristics doesn’t get much further than ‘not a dickhead’. However I can see some things in common between the various people I have liked in my time – and I can see why some people weren’t quite right for me based on the lack of some of those things, even if I can’t necessarily put a finger on what those things actually are.

    Meanwhile, Fi, your comment honestly made me laugh out loud 😀 so thank you for brightening up my day! Sorry for my total lack of witty response though, I feel all inadequate now…!!


  6. C R M

    Capricorns, Fi, are you serious?! Scorpio all the way for me. Though I couldn’t tell you why. Something about the big claws and the poisonous sting…

    [if there are alternative ways to read that comment, I haven’t thought of them…]

  7. Well, his nibs is a Cancer, and I mean that in the disinterested way.

    I don’t really think I have a type. Or rather, I have a few. The relationships I’ve cared in any way about have been with a mathematician, a politician, and his nibs (who for those who don’t know but for some reason care studies film and literature and is vastly more successfully creative than I am). I think imagination and enthusiasm for whatever one happens to be interested in are universal turn-ons though. Otherwise they were all near-polar opposites. The only connecting factors between all of them have been an ability and love of cooking, and a certain disregard for the fact that I’m crap at ringing when I say I will. None of which is a particuarly bad thing, I’d say. Hmmh.

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