Theories About Relationships

This isn’t actually a theory about relationships. Anyway, it’s a theory. Which I started thinking about after reading this rather well-written entry on James’ blog (oh, yes, help please – when I say ‘James’ blog’ or ‘Rhys’ blog‘, is that right, or should it be ‘James’s’ and ‘Rhys’s’ because when I talk out loud the latter is definitely what I say but it looks wrong written down and I know I should know this because it’s the kind of thing I do for a living but sorry, I don’t know, sorry, help? Oh and by the way Rhys’ blog is a bad example because actually it’s Rhys and Dave’s blog in which case do I say ‘Rhys’ and Dave’s blog’ or ‘Rhys and Dave’s blog’ – is Rhys-and-Dave somehow morphed into one single entity because it is this entity which posseses and writes this blog, or what? Oh hell.) about his attitude to relationships.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was actually about blogging and relationships. It’s a reasonably obvious one but it still surprised me: as a general rule bloggers are happier to talk about their theories about relationships and stuff when they’re single. Bloggers who are not single tend to avoid the subject or refer to relationships only to say cutesy things about a lovely life together (oh and if you’re in need of a dose of cute, have a look at Bellen. It’s kooky and cute and things). Or perhaps it’s just me, and it’s not much of a trend after all.

P.S. yesterday’s walk in the snow was beautiful. I was going to tell you a story about going to the park with my cousins and throwing ice at the pond for the awesome echoey skittering noise it makes but I’ll do that later, another day, you know.

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13 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Introspection, Life, Relationships, Society, Thoughts

13 responses to “Theories About Relationships

  1. Hmm. I’m single, and I don’t think I blog about relationships much at all really. Maybe oblique references, but generally I write about other stuff.

    But then, I’ve never been one to stick to ‘general rules’ :p

  2. If you’re in a relationship, it’s like being thin. Everyone else is allowed to tell you they hate you for it, because it’s all a big joke and you shouldn’t take it seriously. Also if you mention it it’s like you’re bragging, and it’s a permanently good thing and any problems you may have are just that bit smaller or less significant because, hey, at least you’re *in* a relationship.

    As for the apostrophe… you’re the proofreader! I have it on good authority that the s afterwards is optional, and leaving it out is I believe a sign of respect – but nobody seems to quite know how far it goes. You never put the s after the apostrophe for Jesus’ name, that seems to be fairly universal, but other than that, I think it’s up to you.

  3. Jenny

    It’s not so much that ‘single people blog about relationships’ so much as ‘taken people don’t blog about relationships’ as a general rule. I guess because what problems one has in a relationship are usually fairly specifically to do with you and that one other person, so in some ways it’s not ‘yours’ to talk about as such, whereas as a single person it’s either personal just to you – your own unrequited love/feelings of inadequacy/All By Myself vodka binging/other single-person cliche/actually usually people whose blogs I read are either not cliched or well-written enough that they still manage to say something new about being single or about why their past relationships failed or whatever – or it’s a generalised problem common to many singletons e.g. ‘Valentines day – such a kick in the teeth’.

    Oh, yeah, and I got my first ‘I hate you because you’re thin’ moment the other day, from the thin side of the fence. Or maybe I just didn’t pick up on them before. So I’m sorry if I’ve ever aimed any ‘I hate you because you’re thin’ comments in your direction before. Also it would be wonderful to meet up, damn you πŸ˜›

    xxx

  4. Adam

    My understanding of apostraphes is as follows:

    If the word ends in an ‘s’ and is singular, then there needs to be an apostraphe followed by ‘s’ i.e. Thomas’s shoes

    If the word ends in ‘s’and is plural, there is no need for an ‘s’ after the apostraphe i.e. My parents’ shoes

    If the word is plural but doesn’t end with an ‘s’, then you put an apostraphe follwed by an ‘s’… i.e. The sheep’s shoes

    Not sure why you’d need the final one, but those are the rules as far as I remember them…

  5. FWIW, I think Adam is right…

  6. Now, of course, I can talk about relationships as much as I like, because I am I with no ‘us’. Shit.

    And yes, the last two are definitely correct but I’m not wholly sure about whehter you say ‘Thomas’ shoes’ or ‘Thomas’s shoes’ because although out loud the latter is what you might pronounce I’m pretty sure that written down it’s the former. Not sure though.

    I like the ‘mark of respect’ theory.

    xxx

  7. “Thomas’s Shoes” is how it’s written (and I also think that Fiona’s “mark of respect” thing is true too). Look at this:

    Apostrophes show you that something belongs to something else. To show belonging you add ‘s
    The cat’s tail – says that the tail belongs to the cat.
    The car’s lights – says that the lights belong to the car.
    Tony’s hair – says that the hair belongs to Tony.

    Usually the apostrophe goes before the s.
    If the owner already ends in s then the apostrophe goes after the s that is already there. You just need to add an apostrophe. Eg:

    The dogs’ bowls – says that the bowls belong to some dogs.
    The boys’ coats – says that the coats belong to some boys.
    The cars’ wheels – says that the wheels belong to some cars.

    Watch out for plurals that don’t end in s. Words like men and children don’t end in s, but they are talking about lots of people. These words use ‘s to show possession. E.G:

    The men’s hats – says that the hats belong to the men.
    The women’s house – says that the house belongs to the women.

  8. Although actually when it says “If the owner already ends in s…”, that’s not what it means. It means if the word is already plural, its just ‘. So “Thomas’s” is right.

  9. It’s simply that there’s more to say, I think. Less things can be shared when you’re with someone, because after all, they are your problems, between you and possibly someone else, but either way theorising about relationships either ends up being “I am happy” or “is this going to work out?”, and I don’t know anyone who’d ever be comfortable with doing “is this going to work out?” publicly.

    Whereas, being single, I’m perfectly happy to consign myself to failure and theorise over just how doomed I am on a long-term basis, the reasons why, and do so very publicly, if only to prove that I’m capable of doing something useful by myself.

    And, for what it’s worth, *hug*.

    xxx

  10. Jenny

    Yes, I suppose so. So, now I am single, well, watch this space. It’s all mine now. And thank you :).

    You may be right about Thomas’s shoes. I shall ask my mother.

    xxx

  11. teacherface

    I’d agree with your theory, Jenny. The moment I was single I was talking about it all over the shop – was being the important word here, I think I just ende up boring myself with it so stopped.

    As for the apostrophe thing – my brain is far too fuzzed to be able to even think about it!

    πŸ˜€

  12. Flix

    I suppose it’s also partly to do with happiness/frustration levels. When I’m content and things are going swimmingly, in life generally as much as the ‘love’ part of it, I have less to say, ‘cos everything’s okay.

    Oh, and tres true what Fiona says. I wrote a blog about common conceptions about couples once, a long while ago. I may unearth it…

  13. Jenny

    Unearth away πŸ™‚ that would be interesting.

    I always have plenty to say, because I’m pretty talkative as a rule and I think about a lot of things. But you’re right, I guess there is a trend – that when I’m happy I’m more likely to talk about things that aren’t directly coupled to what’s going on in my life, and when I’m not so happy I’m a little more likely to talk about those more specific things. I try not to, though – although I know I can and that people will still read and enjoy, and although part of me sometimes wants to do just that, I don’t really like splashing my major news, gossip and scandal up here for all to see terribly often. xxx

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