Quite often I find myself opening up a new post and having a complete and utter rant for a while about things probably far too close to home, and then I don’t actually post them because there is no use in being a whiny bitch, but having done that whining without telling anyone makes me feel better. What I don’t then do is tell people to their faces what I was ranting about and never posted. So that’s one new year’s resolution for you. I also want to get regular exercise and find a church I’m truly happy with and not listen to anyone else when they say I should like such and such a church or this or that denomination purely on the basis that they do and clearly they are right. If I want to become a Quaker or a Methodist or a Catholic, don’t kill me, OK? I don’t know how likely any of those things are but it is my choice. And I’m still a Christian and surely that’s the point? So I want to stand up for myself a bit more too. And also I want to get a lot more sensible about clothes shopping once I have money again. Currently I can’t really afford new clothes but nor do I need any, so when I do next need clothes I want that to be a case of buying less, and buying things which are better quality, will last longer, and are as not-ethically-dubious as I can manage. I’m also going to bother cooking properly, rather than throwing together some same-old-same-old combination involving probably lentils and vegetables and maybe rice or pasta or something, because I can cook and there’s no need to prove this by constantly baking silly things. And I’m going to do some decent cello practice and do well in this degree, and do you know what? I think actually that all of this is possible, probable and realistic, because I am wonderful like that.
Also, new years. I am going to a party this year and very much looking forward to it. Time was when I expected to go to a party on New Year’s Eve and get more than usually drunk and stupid and probably naked. Last year I went to four parties in a row and ended up having sex in a bathroom – that was fun. The year before that I went to one party and spent the night torn between an extended game of strip poker, and keeping my sister alive and conscious (to my knowledge this is by far the most drunk she has ever been because unlike me she’s a good girl). The year before that I walked to the party I was going to, with K and a bottle of pink gin, and we got quite lost and nearly ended up sitting down on the verge and cracking open the gin and getting drunk and celebrating the new year by passing out all alone in the middle of nowhere but just as we were about to do just that we rounded a corner and there was a house, balloons, and cars we recognised as belonging to our friends, so we went inside and, well, general drunkenness and promiscuity ensued and it was fun. The year before that nothing much happened but there was a piano and I remember ending up in the town square for some reason and bumping into a load of chavs who had been at my school. The year before that I was at home with my family, as I had been for the previous however many years.
Anyway, quite by accident I seem to have got in on the obligatory new year’s posting several days before the rest of you :P. The one aspect of the obligatory new years post that I haven’t done is to provide any kind of overview of the year and how this year was better or worse than the preceeding one or several. But hey, I need to find something else to write about in the next few days so watch this space, I guess…!