I’m ashamed to say I relish in it when girls who used to be slim and beautiful turn slowly into solid, pallid young women. This only applies to girls of whom I was envious, who seemed to do better than me in all spheres of life – more popular, got better grades, and so on, girls who were mean to me, but nonetheless, it’s a horrible trait to have, however rarely I may have those kinds of thoughts. However I have discovered (I promise this was on the tip-off of a housemate and all in the spirit of research) that there are millions of groups on facebook which are along the same lines: ‘I Love It When Girls I Hate Get Fat’ – there are no less than three groups with this exact name, and if you read the info for each group they reek of bitterness and anger and madness. I wouldn’t say I was angry or bitter or mad, I just like it when girls I never much liked, or girls who made me feel inadequate, unintelligent and uninteresting get all dull and stodgy-looking, while I started off OK-to-unattractive, and have improved with age (and a gradual realisation about the things that suit me and the things that don’t). But it’s not terribly nice of me to be thinking ‘ha! you used to be all masses of wild Rosetti-red hair and pale petite legginess, and now you’re merely short and fat and fadingly ginger’, or whatever. I don’t think that’s terribly nice of me. So please tell me I’m not really alone in that?