I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know how to describe it, but something a lot (but not all) of the men I’ve liked in the past have in common is a certain presence. You know, the kind of man that walks into a room and is noticed. They know how to not just occupy the space they stand in but completely inhabit it and wear it like a mantle. They command notice and attention but not in an obvious way and not really because of anything they say or do; barmen serve them first, waiters gravitate to them, the world moves with them, just to a degree. It’s not just to do with Men I Have Liked because I’m aware that there are also plenty of men in whom I have no interest whatsoever as anything other than a friend or acquaintance who also have this thing about them; and there are men I have liked a lot who couldn’t get served in a bar if they walked in toting a gun and wearing a t-shirt saying Serve Me Or I Kill You. I don’t know what it is. It’s not about being physically attractive (like I say I have a reasonable representative sample and they’re not all particularly classically good-looking) or tall or clever or strong or charismatic per se, and it isn’t about combinations of these and other traits, I think – it seems to be something that comes before all of that socially constructed jazz and is something that, were we still chimps living in trees, they would still have, these people. Something subtly noticeable, a sense of power and a feeling that this is a person who very slightly alters how gravity works around them. My sister hates me for this but I call this my ‘Alpha Male’ theory merely because it recalls that whole lion-pride structure-thing. I don’t know what I’m talking about…!
I’ve not noticed it so much in girls (after all it is partly tied up with who and what I find attractive, just not wholly) but I wonder if there is something similar, and what it entails. And what other throwbacks there are from when we were animals chewing on leaves and being scared of fire and not knowing about wheels. What would we say about our species if we were able to stand on the outside and objectively observe?
Anyway, as I write, it’s 2am, which is probably the main reason why I’m actually spouting all of this because it seems so much mroe worth reading at this kind of time, and I’ll schedule it to go up later tomorrow (today?).