I don’t often read Post Secret. A lot of the secrets people mail in annoy me. Not because of what they write per se, but more that they feel the need to put it out there in front of anyone with internet access. If I have a secret that I want to tell people, I will tell the friends that matter to me, the friends to whom that thing is relevant, and not the entire world. Arguably I suppose you could say Cloudlife was actually all about telling the entire world, but I don’t think I ever did it with the intention of spewing up my emotional guts all over the bus-shelter that is the internet in this particularly weird analogy. I did it in the hope that other people might read what I had to say and find something helpful in it, which again I am happy to see is a real motivation for putting up a secret on Post Secret. To be fair, some of the secrets are funny, or beautifully drawn, or original, and I do see the point, I guess, and I’m honestly not getting at the thousands of people who post in their secrets.
But occasionally one secret or another will just really, really rile me. Such as this gem: “When I was younger, I didn’t kill myself because I had to know how Harry Potter ended”. Good, I’m glad you didn’t, I’m glad you’re still alive. Except, well, wait. What kind of a reason to live is that? It’s not, really, and if the person who sent that in had really wanted to die, wanting to know how Harry Potter had ended wouldn’t stop them. I don’t say this because I’m an intolerant no-nonsense bitch, although I do have that side to me, but because I kind of get that – thinking you want to die but being stopped by something which wouldn’t really count as a reason if you were really serious – ‘oh, I should make it to my sister’s birthday first’ (why?), or ‘my family would be so disappointed'(if you’re so depressed that you want to kill yourself you would see your death as a relief to them, or a duty, or in some other way a good rather than a bad thing – it is hard to accept that you are loved when you can no longer stand to be in your own company), or ‘someone would have to find my body and I wouldn’t want to upset some poor dogwalker when they found my body hanging in the woods’ (they’ll live), things like that. Note that I’m not saying I ever wanted to commit suicide, I’m not here to whinge about me, I’m just here to whinge about people who get far too worked up about their mental health and consider it to be a Big Deal when they’d be far happier if they just realised they were more alright than they thought they were. Perhaps I’m just being intolerant because I’m happy and I’m not questioning how or why I’m happy, I am just happy to be happy and I refuse to let anything get in the way of this good mood, so fuck you. Whoever ‘you’ might be.
I have a friend who used to threaten suicide whenever she had an argument with her boyfriend or her best friend or something and it just seemed so insensitive, to me, to cry wolf to that degree, that in the end I sat her down and gave her a good talking to – well, over Facebook. There is a difference between needing a good shout and a good cry, and having serious mental problems. If you’re going to do it, nothing will stop you, and if you’re not, try to realise now that you’re not, not unless things get worse, and try to find a way back to being OK, because you’re closer than you think. How dare you hijack the horrible, horrible things some people go through and survive, or don’t survive, by threatening to kill yourself when all you need is a hot sweet tea and a good cry? How can you completely fail to understand how wrong that is?
Basically I can’t stand people who make a fuss about things and go over the top and assume they’re the only one who has ever had a bad day or felt lonely or misunderstood. No, just like the rest of us, you’re just a human being. Don’t sweat. If you think that everyone else is permanently as happy as they look then you’re blind. Yes, we all have days when perhaps we get a bit unhappy and therefore attention-seeking, and I’m sure when I was younger and maybe even now I do that on occasion. And no, I’m not saying some tedious thing like ‘we all go around wearing masks’, I am literally saying we don’t all go around moaning about how shit things are. I’m also not saying that it’s not still a bad thing to be even thinking about suicide on some level, I just get annoyed with people who say they are when they clearly aren’t, it just seems so fucking attention-seeking. I don’t suffer fools, sorry. I’m also not saying that no-one on PostSecret is telling the truth or is really having as bad a time as they say they are, because of course that’s not true, and I genuinely feel for the people out there who go through the sorts of things that appear in secrets. Some people just annoy me.
Sorry. I don’t get angry terribly often, and it’s weird, the things that send me into a flat spin. This is also not a good way to come back from a holiday which was lovely, but this has been hanging around in my drafts for a while so I thought I may as well post it at some point. Because I am honest on this blog, and I’m sorry if I come across as rude and intolerant and horrible sometimes – I honestly don’t mean to be, but everyone needs somewhere to vent even if their opinions may be a bit unpalateable, perhaps, I don’t know what you all think, and please tell me. Too many commas. Time for a postscript…
…I just thought this particular postcard was terribly, terribly sad.