I heard recently that every now and again the magnetic field of the earth switches round, so that north becomes south and south becomes north. And I want to know, if this happens, how does that affect us? I’m guessing it would have some kind of effect on satellite communications, but what effect? Also, point of interest, would we swap east and west round too, or would we have to think of new mnemonics, replacing Never Eat Shredded Wheat with something else (Sometimes Eat Normal Wheat? Never Want Shredded Eat? I’m not very good at mnemonics…).
Talking of mnemonics, and therefore going through a thought-train that takes us back to school and being young and the people we were at school with and small children and so on… I just went on Facebook to see that a girl from my school has just uploaded an album of pictures from her first ultrasound scan – so that’s another mother-to-be on the Facebook Friends list. And…wow. Yet again I’ve gone a bit dippy over baby pictures. It’s really odd, the power that this hormonal rush has. This evolutionary drive, and I can do nothing to stop it – I Want Children. Not now, that wouldn’t be sensible, but someday, definitely.
And more than that – I used to imagine being single for the rest of my life, basically, and eventually adopting some children, or finding a sperm donor, or something – but no, really, I want to have children with Someone, I want to have a baby that combines all of our best bits, and of course I think that any child of me and Whoever That Someone Will Someday Be is obviously going to be the supersprog, clever and gorgeous and active and good at everything and a wonderful, kind, honest and good person to boot.
It’s times like these that I realise that we are animals, driven by basic needs for things which are evolutionarily advantageous – love, sex, children, food. We can dress it up, sing songs, mythologise the whole thing, eat sushi and wear highly constructed suits and clothes in an entirely non-natural environment, but it’s a veneer, and sometimes that really hits you. Like, you know, when you end up madly broody over a kid who will probably be an utter brat (I’m sorry, I never liked his mother) but I hope for his sake that he isn’t, that he’s lovely, that he turns out a fine specimen of a human being, because at the moment he’s just too bloody heartwrenching to be anything but.
The other thing I wonder is this: In my stats page on WordPress it tells me what links people clicked upon to wind up here, and Condron has shown up a bit of late, a site of which I’d never heard. So I clicked on the link, and it turns out it’s a site which shows peoples blogs, and scrolls round them, so that you get to see lots of different blogs for an odd-seeming six seconds each, and pause if you like what you’re reading, which I guess gets each blog more readers. So, how did I end up with my site in their books (I didn’t put myself in), who did, and also, why do they have a little thing at the bottom saying ‘you’ll get more readers if you mention condron in your blog’? Why would that get you more readers? I am permanently confused by the clever things people do on the internet; I also absolutely don’t get RSS feeds. From what I understand of them they’d come in handy but I don’t know at all how I can get the guardian or BBC headlines appearing as an RSS on my desktop or wherever.
Oh, and that guy I mentioned the other day. My male chauvinist date. He seemed to think that old labour supporters like my dad were a dying species – in which case, why do the guardian and the BBC seem to have such a similar political bias, by and large? If the BBC is most peoples’ prime news source, and that news source has an acceptably liberal political bias, doesn’t that rather make people like my date the political dinosaurs now, huh?
Sorry about that particularly unattractive vindictive moment. I say again, he’s a lovely man. We’re just not made for one another.