My personal Biggest Ever Fear isn’t spiders, or small spaces (spiders are oddly cute, and small spaces, well, yes, they do scare me). It’s not crowds, or being alone, or losing people; it’s trying to pick up a new skill or something and completely embarassing myself and doing badly in the process.
Literally, I’m currently playing a game of chess over Facebook with a friend (a friend who has seen me fall down stairs, dance like an idiot, and sport noodle tentacles due to an incident involving a total independent-self-feeding fail (to be fair to myself I was using a prawn cracker as a spoon and I had something I really needed to say just as I put a giant mouthful in my gob. But never mind).
Anyway. I’m playing chess with this guy, and I haven’t played since I was about nine and anyway I was useless at chess even then so it’s safe to assume I’m not exactly Bobby Fischer now (is he even a famous chess player, the obvious reference I’m going for here?).I’m inexperienced, I don’t know how to think or plan like a chess player, and it scares me to the extent that I’m practically breaking a cold sweat. I’m just too terrified of making a stupid move and suffering an ignominious chessmate. I know I’m going down, but I want to do so without personally feeling that I’ve lost my dignity. I don’t want him to think I’m stupid – which is daft, he knows I’m intelligent; probably more intelligent than he is, and he knows it, so he’s not going to think I’m stupid (at least no more stupid than he did when I was making a total fool of myself with those infamous noodles). I just get impossibly scared of being caught out being incompetent at something, even if it’s something ludicrous that no-one would expect me to have off pat, like, say, climbing. That’s half the reason I barely made it this term: I should have made more progress than I have.
Anyway, does anyone have the foggiest what I’m on about?
What scares you?